I love the way the Scottish say a word with double O’s.
It has such length, such gutsy strength. I’ll show you how it goes…
(say the rest of the poem in a Scottish accent)
A poem by Simon Camilleri
One afternoon, Lachlan MaGloon was driving to the Melbourne Zoo.
His young nephew was turning two and he was late, so off he zoomed!
Inside his BMW he had a bunch of blue balloons.
He’d give them to his young nephew as long as he could get there soon.
But as the Zoo came into view, the blue balloons across him flew!
He canna see through! They blocked his view! So blindly he sped to the Zoo.
With a mighty BOOM he crashed right through the front gate to the Melbourne Zoo.
The guard said, “HEY YOU!! You canna do that, you must park and then pay too!”
But like a hoon, Lachlan MaGloon sped off into the busy Zoo
Past kangaroos and cockatoos and lions left looking confused.
Right past emus and turtles too and lizards with their tongues of blue,
Straight past gnus who just said “moo” and doves so scared they lost their “coo”.
Past brave baboons who flung their poo, but none could stop his journey through.
Until he reached the Court of Food, or “food court” as it may be known by you.
The children screamed as at them he flew. What was Lachlan MaGloon to do?
He couldn’t see! He has no clue! Those darn balloons still blocked his view!
He slammed the brakes, while praying to the God he knew would see him through.
His screeching BMW crashed to a halt as if by glue!
Now bruised, confused and woozy too, with messed hairdo and one lost shoe,
Lachlan MaGloon emerged to view his car just missed his young nephew.
“It’s you! It’s you!” cried his nephew who round his neck his arms he threw.
Then from the car Lachlan MaGloon, retrieved the bunch of blue balloons.
The crash had sadly popped a few, but when he viewed the smile of a boy aged two,
Despite all he’d been through,
yes he knew it was true,
he was glad he had come that day to the Zoo.