February 24 2010

The Single Bed – A Poem

The Single Bed

a poem by Simon Camilleri  24/11/09

I only need a single bed.
Why would I buy a double?
Having such room for someone else
Would only lead to trouble.

I know some people like the space.
They like to sprawl and stretch,
But then you’d need a King-sized bed
When finally you get hitched!

And so, since now I sleep alone,
I’ll go to bed and dream.
Sleeping soundly in my single,
Looking forward to my Queen.

(1637)

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February 24 2010

Vincenza’s Vespa – A Poem

Vincenza’s Vespa

a poem by Simon Camilleri  7/4/08


Vincenza’s fuel efficient, two-wheeled, sleek and stylish Vespa

zooms around the city ducking and weaving between trams and traffic jams

parking wherever it wants and flying away without leaving a trace

A black buzzing beauty

But the girl sitting on her brown leather back is not named Vincenza.

Vincenza was my grandma

She left us money that she had stored in her house over decades.

As a secret hope might be stored away in one’s heart,

this money grew and grew

but was never used to fulfil its intended dream.

In the end it had to be cleaned from the mouse poo and dust that had built up around it

and finally it was distributed to all the grandchildren.

It came with a solemn warning

This is a gift from Vincenza

Carry with it her dreams

Time passed

and Vincenza’s gift was placed in an account that could not be touched

There it was stored, as a dream of happiness might be stored away in a lover’s heart,

and there it grew.

Vincenza’s gift was safe and secure

whilst the world outside fell to pieces.

The lover’s separated

and after seven months, the girl insisted on taking her share

She had a right, she said

And all at once Vincenza’s gift became something that was mine and hers

Something that should be split in half

to maintain consistency with the state of our hearts.

Vincenza and her dreams were forgotten

and her gift was broken in two.

The money, for that is all it was now, was quickly spent

To pay back debts and deal with financial insecurities

and also to buy a shiny new Vespa.

Now a year and a half has passed

And the Vespa still buzzes around the city

An occasionally painful reminder to me of Vincenza’s gift,

and her unfulfilled dreams,

and that broken solemn warning

and it all stinks

as the mouse poo and dust begins to build once more

For the girl never steers that Vespa in the direction of Vincenza’s son and his wife

Who still live and breath and love her like a daughter

Or Vincenza’s grandson

Who still tries to keep safe that dream of happiness

that was once stored away in a lover’s heart

And though she was there when Vincenza’s spirit breathed its last

And though she was there when Vincenza’s body was laid to rest in the ground

She doesn’t even steer that Vespa in the direction of Vincenza’s graveside

To at least say thank you for the ride.

(2248)

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February 24 2010

When the Fat Lady Sings – A Poem

WHEN THE FAT LADY SINGS
by Simon Camilleri 9/6/09

3 and a half days and one chapter ends.
3 and a half days a new one begins.
What do you do for those three and a half days,
When the silence is broken… When the fat lady sings?

Three and a half days of quiet reflection.
Three and half days of loud protesting!
Of grief, disbelief and of shaking your head,
As you wait for the song when the fat lady sings.

Her song is a ballad of 3 years of trying,
It tells of a broken heart I failed to win.
A sad, haunting tune that you wish you weren’t hearing.
Yes, the chords are all minor when the fat lady sings.

She’s been warming her voice now for many a month,
And right next to her there waiting in the wings,
Was another singer with a song of redemption,
Who will never will be heard when the fat lady sings.

In 3 and a half days she steps out on stage,
And I don’t know what her song into my life brings,
But I know I can’t cover my ears to prevent it,
So I’ll stop and I’ll listen… when the fat lady sings.



(2032)

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February 24 2010

The Last Straw – A Poem

The Last Straw

This is it!

I’ve had enough!

I’ve done my dash!

I’m taking my bat and ball and going home!

I’ve reached the bottom of the barrel!

I’ve reached the end of my tether!

I can’t take any more!

That was the final and very last straw!

The one that broke the camilleri’s back…

Now what…?

Now what…??

Now that I have run out of straws

What’s next?

Tomorrow doesn’t stop

Life goes on

The camel with it’s broken back has to decide

Do I get up?

Or give up?

Now what?

My heart is empty and full at the same time

Vacuous and yet knotted up tight

Hollow, silent and exhausted

And yet filled with a roaring tempest of pain and disillusionment

Like a silent scream by someone who has lost their voice

Nothing more to give

For the little bag that held my straws is empty

And yet

As I present my little empty bag to God,

Like a “Get Out of Jail Free” card,

Expecting him to pat me on the head and say,

“Well, at least you did your best.”

I find no words of comfort or understanding

No words of solidarity or permission to retreat

And after a moment of confusion at God’s seemingly cold silence

I take out my fingers from my ears and hear what he was waiting to say

“If you’re looking for an excuse, you’ve come to the wrong place” He said

“Here you will find no mandate to change the course

The task is clear

Love

No excuses

No conditions

No ultimatums

No alternatives

You must love

Til death separates you.”

“But how??” I cry,

Holding up my little empty bag that used to be so full of straws

He simply smiles and leads me to

A giant wooden beam

So high it blurs into the perspective

So wide it disappears into the horizon

He runs his hand across its harsh surface

Past old bloodstains and holes where nails used to be

And as he does he collects an overflowing handful of thin strips of wood

New straws from an ancient tree

He tells me to come back often and take as many straws as I need

For here they will never run out

And so I return

The camel gets up

And my little bag is full once again

And I’m surprised to find

My little bag is no longer so little

Being stretched from its last use

It’s now able to hold

A little more weight

And a few more straws

Simon Camilleri  4/4/08

(2042)

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February 24 2010

Blenders & The Paradox of Pain – A Poem

BLENDERS & THE PARADOX OF PAIN

a poem by Simon Camilleri  29/9/09

I put my hand into a blender and pressed the button “HIGH”
and in a flash my hand was gone and, shocked, I wondered why?

Why God? Why now? Why not THAT guy? Why’d this happen to me?
Why didn’t you just stop the blades? Or stop my hands, at least?

Aren’t I your child? Were you asleep? I thought you had my back!
I thought when I teamed up with you I’d live life free from lack.

And now I lack a whole right hand! How can you call this love??
I shook my fist (now just a wrist) at the heavens above.

I wondered how, in such a world, could God really be there?
If he exists, he’s either weak or worse, he doesn’t care!

This suffering seemed so pointless that I slowly filled with doubt.
So I thought I’d take a break from church until I’d worked it out.

So I ditched my Christian friends who all just didn’t understand.
It’s easy to say “God is good” when you have both your hands.

Yes, the complex paradox of pain would take deeper contemplation,
and what better way to think it through than in complete isolation.

See, I had lost my hand, I had lost my faith, I had lost my church and friends,
but I still had no idea just how my life had reached this end.

And as I pondered this I sat down on some railway tracks.
I began to juggle hand grenades and chainsaws to relax.

I wondered how could bad things happen to good folk like me,
as I smeared my face with honey and threw rocks at swarms of bees.

“It’s a mystery”, I finally said, “The great paradox of pain!”
and I shrugged as my left hand reached for the blender once again…

(1500)

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